


Misguided

by judarchan



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Canon Compliant, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Canon, Riding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-10-10 01:56:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17416784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/judarchan/pseuds/judarchan
Summary: "Am I not allowed to be here? It's not like you own the Caribbean."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [YuliceChan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/YuliceChan/gifts), [butleronduty](https://archiveofourown.org/users/butleronduty/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first multi-chaptered fic yay!
> 
> I'll update the rating & tags as the story progresses :) 
> 
> Thank you [yulicechan](https://twitter.com/yulicechan?lang=en) for blessing me with your headcanons and for constantly inspiring me ♡♡♡

................................................................................................

 

Out of all the stunning displays Antigua never failed to offer, the sunset had always been Blanca's favourite. With its smooth hues of auburn and lilac painting the darkening sky and the sparse clouds above the bay, it was a breathtaking sight he rarely missed.

But what each dying horizon brought with it appealed him even more. When the sweltering heat of the day made way to the evening, a unique atmosphere took hold of the city and turned it into a dazzling whirlwind of lights and colours. The numerous clubs and restaurants came alive, and it was all too easy to let go of any worry and get lost in the delight of the moment.

And maybe end the night in the arms of a pretty lady. Or two.

A light breeze ruffled the palm trees that lined the promenade as Blanca made his way to his usual beach bar, his steps matched by the gentle waves crashing on the shore.

He couldn't help the grin tugging his lips - yes, this was going to be good.

 

\------------

 

A pair of bright pink doors welcomed Blanca to the main lounge, where the sounds of people chatting over their dinners and cocktails mingled with the soft music playing in the background. The cheery ambience was all it took for his mood to be set and his smile to reappear on his face while he walked up to the counter to order his first drink of the night. He went for one of the many fruity creations that were so popular on the island, and while it wasn't as strong as he would have liked, its sweet flavour was pleasant enough.

Blanca sipped at his glass and settled on the nearest veranda, scanning the crowd for any potential company. But just as he was about to ask himself how did he ever manage to choose among all the beautiful girls that were like always gathered at the bar, a flash of blue caught his eyes.

A double-take revealed it to belong to the flowy dress of a woman sitting alone not too far from Blanca's spot. Before long, he realised there was something suspiciously familiar about the sleek wave of her black hair and her fair, slim legs, but she had her back turned and he couldn't make out any more details. He downed his cocktail and mused over the possibilities.

Was she perhaps one of his past flings? For a moment, Blanca warred between the embarrassment that would arise, were that the case, and the interested spark that alighted him as soon as he saw her. His instincts made the decision for him when his hands smoothed the front of his shirt and he found himself standing up already.

His mind was quick to follow. He had nothing to lose, anyway, and he couldn't pass up the opportunity of spending the evening with such a beauty.

Blanca put on his best smirk and sauntered over to her table, letting all his confidence and practiced experience pour into his tone as he spoke,

"Hi there. May I-" A curt little chuckle came from the woman, and at once his perfect night was shattered.

Blanca _knew_ that voice.

He couldn't focus on anything but utter shock as the person turned around.

"Did you miss me, Blanca?" Yut-Lung's features bore pure satisfaction, his made-up eyes glinting wickedly in the pale lighting.

A chaos of _what_ s and _why_ s and _how_ s chased away every other coherent thought as he just stood there, frozen, staring at the other in disbelief.

Was this some kind of twisted joke of the fates? A divine punishment of sorts?

Or a carefully orchestrated plan?

It simply couldn't be mere coincidence, of that much he was sure.

 _I'll find you, even in the Caribbean_. The ghost of words from what felt like a lifetime ago stood out among the mess that reigned in Blanca's mind.

It didn't make any sense. Why would Yut-Lung come to him now? Years had passed, their contract was over - there was nothing left to settle. Granted, they hadn't parted on good terms, so the desire for revenge as the motive behind his visit was indeed possible. But he knew him to be smarter than that. He wouldn't show up in a crowded place like this and just try to kill him. Or have his men do it, more precisely.

Lost as he was in his frantic overthinking, he barely realised that Yut-Lung had raised to his feet and was looking up at him, mindlessly running his fingers through that ridiculously lustrous hair of his. The peal of laughter he let out sounded genuinely amused, and Blanca suddenly felt self-conscious of the disconcerted expression he surely must have had on his face.

"So, aren't you happy to see me?" Yut-Lung asked, as if him being there was supposed to be a delightful surprise, or a completely normal occurrence.

"Why are you here?" Blanca didn't like the tightness in his voice, but if he had to be honest, he was amazed he even had enough presence to reply in the first place.

"I just wanted to take a break." _Right_.

"Seriously, Yut-Lung, why are you here?" He managed to convey more of his exasperation this time, but the other seemed unfazed, his index still toying with a strand of hair by his bare shoulder.

"Am I not allowed to be here? It's not like you own the Caribbean." Seeing Blanca's narrowed eyes, Yut-Lung sighed and continued, "Sing thought I needed a little time off from all the stuff that's been going on. He bought me a plane ticket and basically dragged me to the airport, and now here I am." He retrieved his drink from the table behind him and took a sip from his straw, his gaze set on Blanca as if to challenge him to argue with that.

Assuming what he said was true, it meant that Sing was the real culprit.

He knew it. This was all one big conspiracy against him.

"If you will excuse me." Blanca could barely hold himself together long enough to make his way through the crowd and to the beach, his fingers already tapping at his phone. Unable to stay still, he paced back and forth as he waited for Sing to pick up, and he spared him no greeting when a _hello?_ came from the other side.

"Sing, what the hell?!" Trying not to sound hysterical proved harder than he thought.

" _What? What's going on?_ "

"What's going on? What made you think that sending Yut-Lung over here was a good idea? And why didn't you tell me?!" There had to be a reason. Sing was well aware of how things had ended between them, and there was no way he didn't buy that damned plane ticket on purpose.

" _Ah, yeah well... It kind of slipped my mind._ " He croaked a nervous laugh before continuing, " _But... can you take care of him for a little while? Please?_ " 

 _Absolutely unbelievable_.

Blanca had come back to Antigua to let go of everything. To free himself from what had happened in New York once and for all.

To forget.

"You're out of your mind, Sing."

" _Come on, it can't be that bad. And maybe... maybe this could be a chance for you guys to make up?_ " Blanca tsked. _Hah, there it is_.

"So, in other words, this was all a plan? You know I can't-" Sing didn't even let him finish before he started rambling,

" _No, of course not! I'm just saying it's a good opportunity. And besides, he's changed a lot from back then, I swear! I mean, he does have his flaws, and you don't want to be near him when he's having a bad day, but... Well, he's actually nice, you know._ " That was precisely the problem.

Blanca knew Yut-Lung wasn't a bad person. He'd seen right through him from the very beginning - he'd seen how different his life could have been if only the circumstances had allowed it.

If only he had someone who showed him that he was more than his hate and his pain.

And instead of giving him what he needed, Blanca chose to run away.

" _Look, things are pretty messy over here, and he's been working so hard lately. He really needs this._ " Sing's tone had changed, and he couldn't bring himself to ignore how serious he sounded. He looked up to the sea, where the last sliver of sun was being swallowed by the night.

"Alright. There's nothing I can do about it now, anyway."

" _Thank you, Blanca._ " He could almost hear the other's relieved smile. "Take care, Sing."

A deep sigh escaped him as he put his phone back in his pocket. He'd expected to only feel panic, annoyance, frustration - certainly not the strange, calm rationality that took over him once he was left alone with his thoughts.

Sing was probably right - it couldn't be that bad. All Blanca had to do was keep an eye on Yut-Lung, nothing more. It wouldn't be much different from the job he had when their contract was still in place. He wouldn't even need to mention the past at all. And Yut-Lung was already behaving like he made the same decision, anyway.

Committed not to dwell on the abyss of complications lying in wait for him to make a mistake, he trudged over to the bar, his shoes sinking some into the soft sand.

He was met with the clicking of Yut-Lung's short heels on the patio floor, and there was no trace of teasing left when he said,

"Don't worry, I'll be gone soon enough. I can't leave Sing to deal with the Vietnamese on his own for too long." The concern in his voice had Blanca at a loss for a moment. It felt foreign and right all at once to hear him actually show that he did care for his friend - that there was something else within the broken, spiteful child he'd always been. That he had indeed changed.

He chose not to get into the subject for the time being. Or ever.

"Where's your hotel?"

"Oh, I haven't gotten a room yet. It was all quite sudden, I barely even managed to pack my carry-on." Yut-Lung adjusted the raffia bag hanging on his shoulder. "And I only have this dress as a change of clothes, so I guess some shopping is in order." He flashed a simper.

"You can stay at my place, if you want." Blanca wanted to slap himself. What was wrong with him? Why could he never just bite his tongue and leave things as they were?

"I'd really appreciate that, actually." _Great_.

"Come then. I'm sure you must be tired." He strained a smile at Yut-Lung and motioned for him to follow as he made his way back inside the lounge and out of those same doors that had put him in such a good mood earlier. Crossing them usually meant he was about to have fun, whether his night was just beginning or coming to and end.

Instead, Blanca now found it hard not to drag his feet like a man headed for the gallows. And for good reason.

He had plenty of things to be distressed about, but there was one particular fact that truly made him want to turn on his heels and run as fast as he could - his house only had one bed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \------------------------
> 
> Fun fact: the beach bar with the pink doors, where the main scene is set, is a real place in Dickenson Bay, Antigua!  
> Such research much wow (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و
> 
> Also, come talk to me guys ♡  
> [twitter](http://twitter.com/_judarchan_)  
> [tumblr](http://www.judarchan.tumblr.com)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter! (*＾▽＾)／  
> I hope you guys like it and, as always, please let me know what you think!
> 
> [yulicechan](https://twitter.com/yulicechan) and [butleronduty](https://twitter.com/butleronduty), I can't thank you enough for your support ♡

................................................................................................

 

Midnight found Blanca wide awake, sitting on the edge of the bed opposite from where Yut-Lung laid asleep. The moon cast a sliver of light through the curtains, just enough for him to make out the steady rise and fall of the other's shoulder, the black spill of his unbound hair, his discarded dress draped over the chair.

Something hurt in Blanca's chest, the fragment of a memory tugging at his mind - the sated glimmer in Yut-Lung's eyes, his exhausted body stretched on unmade sheets.

The touch of his lips. The feel of his heartbeat. His breath evening against his skin.

Unwilling to let his thoughts wander any more than they already had, Blanca stood up, his jaw set and his feet quiet as he walked over to the bedroom's French door. Once outside, in the silent darkness of his veranda, he heaved a sigh and dropped on one of the wicker settees.

He didn't know what to do with himself.

Yut-Lung was there, with him, in his house, sleeping in his bed.

The short-lived bout of lucidity he'd felt after talking to Sing seemed so silly now. Of course he couldn't do it. He couldn't possibly keep his distance and not let his feelings get in the way. _Again_.

He could try. He could spend time with him only if strictly necessary, he could let these days pass and then return to feigning happiness.

He had to.

Blanca had been a coward back then, and he still was. When Yut-Lung needed him the most, he wasn't there - he left him alone to pick up the pieces of his soul, to put his life together and let go of his past. But even as they were apart, he'd thought about him incessantly, with his fingers hovering over his phone and not enough courage to call him, to make things right.

To tell him that he deserved someone better than Blanca.

To apologise, at least.

Weeks became months and months became years, and the pain in his heart softened to an ache, persistent but easy to ignore.

There were questions still lingering on his tongue, though. Had he forgiven him? Had he moved on? He realised he knew so little of what had become of Yut-Lung after he left. He knew from Sing that he was running Chinatown with him, nothing more.

Blanca had never asked, anyway. It would have only made forgetting harder.

And now everything was pointless. The false idyll he'd so carefully built had collapsed under his feet in the span of an evening.

He ran a hand through his hair and closed his eyes, silently trusting the turmoil of his thoughts to the sound of the waves.

 

\------------

 

"What do you mean you don't have any money?" Blanca had spent his sleepless night mulling over the many scenarios that could have come to pass the following morning, but hearing Yut-Lung say he didn't have his cards with him almost made him choke on his coffee.

"I mean exactly that. It's merely a precaution, really. The Vietnamese are trying to trace me down now that I'm gone, and I can't afford to be too conspicuous while I'm here. I've got some cash, but that's it." Yut-Lung replied casually as he sat cross-legged on the linen sofa by the window.

Something didn't add up. There was no way he, or _anyone_ , would be this careless without having some sort of plan in mind.

"So you knew I'd be at the bar." Blanca realised only now that he hadn't even asked Sing if he also told Yut-Lung where to find him. He assumed he did, considering how quick he was to tell him that this was the perfect chance for them to mend fences.

"Oh, it was just a lucky accident." The other let a guiltless little smile curl on his lips as Blanca furrowed his brows.

Why would Yut-Lung play it off as coincidence when it so clearly wasn't? It made even less sense than him pretending everything was fine between them. Not that he himself had behaved any differently so far - being at fault meant he'd have to face the consequences of having left Yut-Lung, and he wasn't ready for the argument awaiting him if he addressed the issue.

He wasn't ready to see those eyes shadowed with misery and hear the betrayal in his voice again.

"Anyway, I'm tired of wearing this." Yut-Lung pulled at the hem of his blue dress and got up. "Can we go now?"

Blanca sighed. So much for his promise of not getting too involved.

 

 

Outside, they were greeted by the warm morning air and a gentle sun. It glimmered along Yut-Lung's pale skin and caught in his hair, his eyes lightened by a beaming smile as the two reached the city centre and its vibrant shopping venue.

Unsurprisingly, he seemed perfectly in his element among the variety of boutiques and small malls that lined the harbour, and Blanca could only follow as he expertly moved from one to the next. Yut-Lung didn't pay much heed to him aside from passing over an increasing amount of bags and freely using his credit card for anything that struck his fancy.

Blanca didn't really mind, and he was especially grateful he was spared of giving his opinion on the clothes' fit - that would have reached a level of awkwardness he wasn't ready for.

At some point around noon, he found himself almost relieved when Sing decided to text him and ask how things were going. It was a welcome break from having to listen to Yut-Lung discussing with the salesperson the difference between Persian green and teal, and which would suit his complexion better.

When Blanca replied him that he'd been out shopping for clothes all morning, Sing had the decency to not seem too amused - at least until he ended their brief chat with  _laters, have fun!_ and a winking emoji.

He hadn't exactly expected to be pitied, but a little sympathy would have made this whole ordeal easier to endure. He pinched the bridge of his nose and tried not to focus on the faint headache blooming behind his forehead.

"I'm all done, thank you." Yut-Lung handed Blanca his card holder and yet another bag. Catching a glimpse of his old dress inside of it, he raised his eyes to the pair of denim shorts and the green top the other was now donning. If he had to be honest, he still couldn't see the point in wasting half an hour choosing between two nearly identical shades when he looked frustratingly pretty in any colour.

"You're welcome. Did you find everything you needed?" Blanca gave him a polite smile and lead Yut-Lung back outside on the sun-drenched street.

"I have. St. John's has quite a lot of shops for such a small city."

He refrained from asking if it had really been necessary to visit almost  _all_ of them, and he passingly wondered if Yut-Lung was doing it on purpose.

Was this his revenge? Acting unsettlingly calm and friendly, having Blanca spend the entire morning with him - perhaps he thought of this as some sort of twisted plot to make him regret what he'd done.

Make him remember how it felt to be in his company. To see him smile.

Were that the case, Blanca hoped Yut-Lung never realised how perfectly he had succeeded.

"Indeed. This island is full of surprises, if one knows where to look."

 

\------------

 

Over the days, it grew distressingly obvious that his suspicions were correct.

What started with Yut-Lung randomly showing up while Blanca was out for lunch, a casual smirk dancing on his lips as he nibbled on his mango salad and again pretended their meeting was a coincidence, quickly turned into a tragicomic game of run-and-chase.

His predicament was a complicated one, as he was perpetually torn between desperately missing having Yut-Lung by his side, and not wanting to risk getting entangled in the same mess of love and unworthiness that had been his ruin in the first place.

Unable to bring peace to the war within himself, Blanca still left his house at any chance he got, but the more he did it, the more Yut-Lung seemed to orchestrate ways to _accidentally_ run into him. He also found the most bizarre excuses, and that only added to Blanca's frustration of not knowing how the other managed to track him down so easily.

Had his senses dulled so much during his retirement that he couldn't even tell if he was being followed?

Or perhaps the strain of his situation was finally taking its toll.

On his part, though, Blanca hadn't done much to make things clearer, and he had yet to muster the will to ask Yut-Lung why he was so keen on keeping up this charade. If this really was his payback.

And so, having him there was steadily becoming an awkward torment. Blanca passed his nights sleeping on the farthest side of the bed, and spent his days overthinking and avoiding the other as much as he could.

Until one morning, when things took on a different turn.

Blanca awoke to Yut-Lung already in the living room, his hands trembling around his mug of tea and silent tears painting down his cheeks.

Were it anyone else, he would have asked what happened, maybe he would even have blamed himself for unwittingly doing something wrong.

But he knew Yut-Lung too well, he was all too familiar with seeing him like this, and he understood at once that he was being haunted by the shadows of his life.

As he quietly sat next to him on the sofa, he wondered with a heavy heart which one had taken ahold of him now.

"Yut-Lung?" His words came out barely above a whisper. The pale light from the window shined across Yut-Lung's reddened eyes as he blindly stared in front of him.

For a few, long moments he said nothing, and Blanca wanted more than anything to dry his tears.

To hold him and never let him go.

Finally, Yut-Lung raised his gaze to him,

"Today is my birthday."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \------------------------
> 
> Come talk to me guys ♡
> 
> [twitter](http://twitter.com/_judarchan_)   
>  [tumblr](http://www.judarchan.tumblr.com)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy ;)

................................................................................................

 

Blanca had seen Yut-Lung drown in despair before. He'd seen his pain and his hatred claw at his heart. He'd seen him cry and lash out in rage.

But he didn't remember ever feeling this powerless against the misery that now stained his eyes and twisted his lips. This time, there was something different in the way Yut-Lung cast his head down and let his hair hide his face. As much as Blanca wanted to know the meaning behind his words, he knew better than to pry. He simply took the mug away from him and set it on the low table in front of them, and waited for him to find his voice.

Yut-Lung hugged his knees to his chest, as if to shield himself from whatever demon was tormenting him, his shoulders shaking under his quiet sobs. After a while, he rasped out,

"My mother gave me a present once, for my sixth birthday."

"What did she give you?" Blanca asked as softly as he could.

"A jade necklace." The other paused, a hand coming up to wipe at his wet cheek. "She had it done for me. It was so beautiful."

Yut-Lung heaved an unsteady breath, "After she died, it took my brothers some time to realise why I wore that necklace only for one day every year. They laughed when it shattered on the floor, under their shoes." The cold, bitter hum of a laugh he let out sent a shiver down Blanca's spine, and there was something deeply disturbing about Yut-Lung's suddenly emotionless lilt when he added,

"They took their turns with me that night. I was ten."

For a long moment, Blanca didn't trust himself to speak. There had been instances, in the past, in which he'd alluded that there was more to his brothers' cruelties, but they were passing statements that meant little, and Blanca never inquired further - he couldn't tell if he did so out of respect, or dread.

And now that he'd learnt the truth in all its blunt clarity, he had no proper words to say.

Yut-Lung let his legs fold beneath him and carded his fingers through the wealth of hair concealing his eyes.

"They're always with me, you know. Their hands, their voices." He wrung at the locks he'd brought over his shoulder and fresh tears spilled down his strained face. " _You're nothing but a whore_ , they'd repeat. Over and over."

This time, Blanca didn't resist when he found himself leaning in. Yut-Lung felt so fragile, so small as he fell into his embrace and wept against his chest - it came only natural to hold him tighter and rest his chin atop of his head.

He chose not to think of what his gesture implied. For days he'd tried his best not to cross his self-imposed line, to treat the other as much like an inconvenience as possible without seeming impolite, to war with what he truly wanted. But the desolation that gripped his heart now was something Blanca couldn't hope to fight.

And so, he simply cradled Yut-Lung in his arms until his sobs quieted and his trembling ceased.

 

\------------

 

Blanca laid with his back to the bed's headboard, listening to the faint sound of running water that came from the ensuite bathroom, his eyes drawn to the shadowed ceiling above him and his mind restless. Yut-Lung had spent the day curled up on the sofa, either asleep or staring at nothing in particular, until the evening finally descended and he decided to wash away his misery.

Blanca had done what he could to comfort him - he'd brought him books, he'd offered to take him out for lunch, he'd sat with him and tried to coax him away from the ghosts of his past.

Ultimately, he realised it was better not to bother Yut-Lung any further. It had always been like this, Blanca remembered. Even back then, the other would vent out and cry and give free rein to his anguish, only to end up wanting to be left alone with his thoughts.

That trait of his hadn't changed at all.

His musings were dispersed when the door clicked open and Yut-Lung stepped into the softly lit bedroom, an unreadable expression masking his features. His damp hair swung over the satin robe he was wearing while his feet moved silently on the whitewashed parquet until he reached the bed.

"How are you feeling?" Blanca received no reply but the hushed rustle of fabric as the other settled on the opposite side. He expected his silence and didn't press the matter, content enough with seeing his eyes dry.

What he didn't expect was Yut-Lung turning around and slowly inching towards him, his lips thinned into a grave line and his gaze unwavering. When he sat up on his knees and took to untying the narrow belt at his waist, Blanca finally grasped his intentions, and the frown on his face was overrun by dismay. This was the one thing he'd promised himself not to let happen - if he had even just a taste of what he'd lost, he knew there would be no going back.

Was this part of Yut-Lung's scheme as well? The recent events crossed Blanca's mind, but as the flimsy lapels of the robe parted and slid off his shoulders, he found there was no smirk teasing him like it used to whenever they ran into each other, the days before.

At a loss, Blanca found his limbs unwilling to move and his breath catching in his throat, all of his protests and questions dying on his tongue. He barely had the presence to keep his eyes from lingering on his body when Yut-Lung wounded his arms around his neck and straddled his hips.

"Make me forget, Blanca." His voice was tinged with a pleading sort of desperation, lashes now downcast as he moved closer to mouth at his jaw.

For a too-long moment, Blanca could focus solely on the touch of his lips and the warm weight shifting on his lap, his conscience vacillating between surrendering and resisting. It was only when the other started undoing his shirt that he managed to brace his hands on his chest and reluctantly push him away.

"We can't do this, Yut-Lung." He'd meant for his dissent to be firm, but the yearning within him threaded its way through his tone and betrayed his uncertainty. Yut-Lung appeared not to notice his inflection, and regarded Blanca with a defeated frown, as if he'd almost anticipated to be refused.

"It wouldn't be right. You haven't been yourself today, and I won't take advantage of your weakness." Immediately after he spoke, he realised his mistake. If Yut-Lung hadn't taken heed of his longing before, he certainly couldn't ignore such a plain suggestion now.

"It's quite contradicting of you to say this, what with how much you've been trying to prove you don't want me lately." The irony of their conversation was laughable. But there was no amusement lacing Yut-Lung's remark - he sounded bitter, dejected, his fists clenching where they rested on his knees. "I don't care for your pity, and I don't expect love from you either. I might have at one point, but I've grown out of my naivety." At this, Blanca let his arms fall limply to his sides as the cruel reality of his faults raced over him. His promises and resolutions, his foolish attempts at letting go, at convincing himself it was for the best, they all instantly became insignificant against the spiteful resignation in Yut-Lung's voice.

"So don't worry, this won't backfire on you later if that's what you're thinking. Just take what you want and give me what I need, without preten-" Overwhelmed by regrets and unable to bear the burden of his words any longer, Blanca cut him off in the only way he could. With the harsh, desperate clash of his lips on Yut-Lung's, his resolve collapsed entirely, and he found his hands clawing at the other's sides, ridding him of his robe and running across the ridges of his ribs.

 _Do you really not know? Or is this another one of your games?_ , he ached to ask him, but the last shreds of reason he was so hopelessly clinging to soon were stolen from his grasp by the delve of Yut-Lung's tongue along his own. Blanca should have known this was bound to happen, that his plan was a failure from the start, that his determination was pointless.

And yet, try as he might, he couldn't bring himself to care anymore. Nothing mattered other than Yut-Lung's supple skin beneath his touch as he slid down to dig into the giving flesh of his backside, his hitching sigh when he moved lower to trace at his entrance. He wasn't surprised to find him slick and open already, easily taking two of his fingers and arching against him, a whimper parting his lips when Blanca curled his knuckles and dipped his head to trail nipping kisses along his throat. But while he intended to take his time to revel in how he clenched around his digits and hardened under his ministrations, Yut-Lung seemed to be driven by a sudden impatience that had him reaching down to finish unbuttoning Blanca's shirt and unfasten his trousers.

Too enthralled with relearning what reactions he could elicit, he was made aware of his own arousal only when the other closed a hand on him and gave a few, purposeful strokes. Yut-Lung straightened to flash a glimpse of his wild grin as he thumbed at his slit, and Blanca couldn't help the shuddering breath that escaped his mouth after a whispered "Come on." urged him to withdraw his fingers. He let him adjust his position to align himself, and then he was being sheathed into the smooth, perfect heat of his body. A soft cry sounded against his hair as Yut-Lung braced on his shoulders and dropped his hips in one steady, practiced motion.

For the few moments it took him to accommodate to his girth, Blanca kept his gaze cast up, drawn to his quivering lashes and bitten lips, trying to distract his thoughts from the burning need to move. But a heartbeat later he found his hands roaming on Yut-Lung's splayed thighs while the other lifted himself enough to sink back down, and soon he was guiding his rise and fall with a firm hold. Having him like this felt so natural, so familiar, as if the years that had passed were just an intermission that lasted no more than an instant. As if they'd never been apart at all.

He allowed his mind to believe the illusion while it lasted.

Before long, Yut-Lung's unhurried rhythm faltered, and Blanca could only give into to the warm, snug fit of his insides with hasty, mismatched thrusts of his own. Yut-Lung seemed lost in his abandon, letting out desperate, little whines with every breath he exhaled, his hips writhing under the exertion. Over the roaring of his blood, Blanca could hear him stutter out incoherent fragments of _yes_ and  _more_ and _please_ that made him slide a hand up until he found his arousal, hard and straining between them. He stroked him in quick, precise snaps of his wrist, until he had him raking his nails at his clothed shoulder blades and flexing his hips to chase after the fingers that left him gliding over the edge of release - close but not yet there.

Blanca struggled to focus through the searing coil of pleasure settled low in his stomach, to keep his eyes fixed on Yut-Lung's gaping mouth and flushed cheeks as the other angled his pelvis and managed to aim his length just so. A smothered cry tore from his throat as he swayed once, twice, and then Blanca felt him tremble under his hands and spasm around him, slumping forward as he spilled himself on their stomachs.

His name sounding from Yut-Lung's lips at the peak of his high proved enough to have Blanca be taken by the fleeting ecstasy of his own climax, and for a few, blissful instants all was forgotten but the feeling of the other's uneven breath against his neck and the sublime tightness of his body.

When his rapture dissipated, too soon and too quickly, his gaze was met with Yut-Lung's sated smile as he shifted to let Blanca slip out of him. But instead of getting up like he expected him to, he simply leaned in to place a kiss to the corner of his mouth and sigh a _thank you_ against his skin.

The odd twinge of a feeling Blanca couldn't quite place tugged at his heart.

All of a sudden, he found himself wishing for this moment to never end, for Yut-Lung to stay safe in his arms forever, away from the icy fingers of misery and the merciless dangers of the world.

 _If only_ , he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \------------------------
> 
> Come talk to me guys ♡  
> 
> 
> [twitter](http://twitter.com/_judarchan_)  
>  [tumblr](http://www.judarchan.tumblr.com)


End file.
